What is Crusty’s Net

Words of Wisdom 4/10/12
Statisically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of characters saying that they wouldn’t feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.What a pair of sexists. I mean , it’s not as if she’d have to back up the bloody thing!

Sven says to Ole, “What ya talkin to an envelope for?”
OLe retorts, “I’m sending a voicemail ya thick sod!”

Ole is resting peacefully on his front porch when he sees a cloud of dust up the road.
He watches his friend Sven coming up the road in his  wagon. “Afternoon Sven!  Where  you headed?” hollers out Ole.
“Afternoon.  Home to my farm,” says Sven.
“What do you have in da wagon?” Ole continued.
“Manure,” said Sven.
“Manure, eh? What do ya do wit it?”
“Spread it over my strawberries,”
“Vell,” says Ole, “ya should come over here for lunch some day. Ve use whipped cream.”

Ethical Dilema
Imagine you are playing in the club championship tournament finals (I didn’t promise this would be easy) and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway. Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball. Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: “Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don’t find it in time, I’ll concede the match.”

You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: “I found it!”. The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole.
Now here is the ethical dilemma:
Do you pull the cheating bastard’s ball out of your pocket and confront him with it or do you keep your mouth shut?

When you get older you'll start to get these in the mail.

Well placed advertisement in my Urologist's office!

 I e-mailed the above image to my Japanese doctor friend; he e-mailed back: “If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician. ”